Your Mission (Should You Choose to Accept It)
Marketing Domination. No Tuxedo Required.
Our AI agents never sleep, never take coffee breaks, and definitely don't expense martinis (shaken or stirred). They gather intelligence, craft strategies, and execute campaigns while you maintain command and control. Your competitors won't know what hit them. Legally, of course.
Connect with us on LinkedIn to apply for beta access
Let's Be Honest: Marketing Is Chaos
Your team is outnumbered, your to-do list is classified as a weapon, and somehow everyone expects "just one more campaign" by Friday. Sound familiar?
Flying Blind
Your competitors know more about your market than you do. Awkward.
Team of One (or Three)
Everyone's a specialist in everything. What could go wrong?
Time? Never Heard of Her
Markets move at lightspeed. Your coffee is still warming up.
Strategy? What Strategy?
Email says one thing, social says another. Your brand is an unreliable narrator.
Data Overload
Dashboards everywhere, insights nowhere. Classic.
Plot Twist
What if you had a team that actually scaled? One that doesn't need vacation days or motivational posters?
Meet the Squad (They're Very Excited)
Four specialized divisions. Zero coffee breaks. Infinite enthusiasm. Your AI agents are ready for deployment:
Intelligence Division
Our recon specialists who definitely don't read your competitor's diaries (they analyze public data like professionals)
- • Brand & Competitive Deep Dives
- • Audience Profiling (ethically, promise)
- • Market Research on Demand
- • Trend Spotting Before It's Cool
Strategy Command
The masterminds who plot your marketing domination. Think Q from Bond, but for campaigns.
- • Multi-Channel Battle Plans
- • Content That Actually Converts
- • Emails People Want to Open
- • ROI Math That Makes Sense
Analytics Bureau
The number nerds who actually make charts interesting. They watch your metrics so you don't have to.
- • Pattern Spotting (It's Like Magic)
- • "Hey, That Looks Weird" Alerts
- • Fortune Telling (Data-Backed)
- • Connecting All The Dots
Lead Operations
The charm offensive team. They find your ideal customers and make introductions (no awkward small talk required).
- • Finding Your People
- • Nurturing Without Nagging
- • Conversion Optimization
- • Making Leads Less Lead-y
The "Wait, Really?" Advantages
Our early operatives keep asking us if this is legal. (It is. Turns out AI is just really good at marketing.)
Speed Boost Activated
What takes your team weeks, our agents do in hours. No energy drinks required on their end.
Always On (No Overtime Pay)
Your AI agents never sleep, never call in sick, and never have "a case of the Mondays."
Scale Without the Drama
Need more agents? Click a button. No interviews, no onboarding presentations, no office drama.
Sniper-Level Targeting
Stop spray-and-praying. Our agents find your people with surgical precision. Every dollar works harder than your last intern.
You're Still the Boss
AI does the heavy lifting, you call the shots. It's like having a team of overachievers who actually listen.
Want In? We're Selective (But Not Snobby)
We're running a closed beta with marketing teams who are tired of mediocre results and bad metaphors. Limited spots because quality > quantity. Also, our servers have feelings.
Rookie Agent
Dip Your Toes In The Water
- • 2 Intelligence Agents (they're eager)
- • 1 Analytics Sidekick
- • Weekly "What's New" Briefings
- • Beta Dashboard (shiny!)
- • Direct Line to HQ
Double Agent
All The Gadgets, None of the Limits
- • Full access to all divisions
- • Mission Control Dashboard (fancy)
- • VIP Feedback Lane
- • Weekly Strategy Pow-wows
- • Help Shape What We Build Next
Secret Agent
Enterprise-Level Espionage
- • Custom Agent Development
- • Integrations Built Just for You
- • Partnership Perks
- • Let's Talk Revenue Sharing
- • Your Use Case = Our Priority
Beta runs through Q2 2025. Launch in Q3 2025. This message will self-destruct in... just kidding, it won't.
Questions? We've Got Answers (And Snacks)
How do I get in?
Slide into our LinkedIn DMs (professionally, please). Tell us about your marketing headaches and team size. We'll set up a chat to see if we're a good match. No awkward first dates, we promise.
What am I signing up for exactly?
Early access to our AI agents in exchange for honest feedback (yes, even if it hurts our feelings). You'll help shape what we build next. Think of it as being a co-pilot, not a guinea pig.
Is this going to cost me a kidney?
Nope! Beta access comes at heavily discounted rates because your feedback is worth more than gold to us. (Your kidney is safe. We're software people, not surgeons.)
Is my data safe with you spies?
Safer than your password that's definitely not "password123." Enterprise-grade encryption, NDAs, the works. Your secrets are safe with us. We're the good kind of spies.
Ready to Join the Fun Side of Marketing?
Your mission, should you choose to accept it, starts with a simple click. No capes required.